Less Butter Can Lead To Genocide
The Guardian this morning reports on “Britain’s biggest single killer.” A “deadly” threat that is “putting … lives at serious risk.” Is it terrorism? Climate change? Gun violence? No. Despite rhetoric worthy of a tabloid discussion of immigration, it seems all The Guardian is shrieking about is butter. And, more specifically, a nefarious plot by cold blooded celebrity chefs—Nigella, Gordon and the rest—to poison us all with this ghastly secretion of the devil.
Not that I don’t agree. As Alexandre Dumas rightly noted, “Werther made butter poetical. It was while watching Charlotte buttering bread … that he was overcome by that fatal passion which ended with a pistol shot.”
But while Werther clearly demonstrates that butter can sometimes lead to murder, the well-meaning imbeciles of the “Fat Panel” (for whom The Guardian has recently become chief fanboy and cheerleader) forget something equally important.
Hermann Goering once remarked that, “guns will make us powerful; butter will only make us fat.” That’s right. While the Fat Panel and its lapdog are keen to remind us that keeping butter in can lead to murder, they forget that leaving it out can (in extreme cases) lead to genocide.
ah haha. Did notice a lot of butter in one of young Jamie’s cookbooks (into which we have recently been inducted). Clearly resolution hinges on one key question: What pray tell was the National Socialist policy on margarine?